Pleasant Speech

प्रियवाक्यप्रदानेन सर्वे तुष्यन्ति जन्तवः
तस्मात्तदेव वक्तव्यं वचने का दरिद्रता

Priya-vaakya-pradaanena sarve tuShyanti jantava-ha
Tasmaat-tadeva vaktavyam vachane kaa daridrataa

Meaning: All beings are happy (tushyanti) when spoken pleasant words (priya-vaakya) to. Hence speak only thus. Is there a scarcity (daridrataa) for good words (vachane)?

This is a universal truth. We all feel happy when nicely spoken to. The subhaashitkaar is urging us to speak only good words, nice words, uplifting & encouraging words, since speaking good words doesn't make us poorer. Do we lose anything by speaking good? Does our wealth decrease? Does our 'anything' decrease? No. In fact, our happiness increases, and so does the other person's. Speaking good makes us innately happier, though it is very difficult. It is not in human nature to speak good. We are most miserly when it comes to appreciating someone, even though it doesn't cost us even a dime. And our default nature is always to speak ill, which causes more harm than the temporary satisfaction we get at that time. In fact, we are pretty generous in this case. It is so easy, so instinctive to speak ill, whereas it is so strenuous and burdensome to speak good to someone, about someone. And by this, I mean, honestly speaking good, not just lip service. Actually, it is difficult even to falsely speak good.

It is worth trying an experiment, and more so with our own family or near ones—How many times do we explicitly appreciate something done for us by somebody? How many times do we verbally admire or applaud a good quality seen in someone? And conversely, how many times do we harshly point out faults, short-comings, lack of skills, expectations not fulfilled by someone etc etc? How many times do we point out things not done, wrongly done, or improperly done? —It is worth observing our own selves and I am sure we will be ashamed of ourselves. If you really want to hate yourself, then write down each and every instance, good & bad, and see the ratio. I wouldn't show mine to any of you.

Speaking ill kills a man. Constant criticism and negativity have such a strong impact that people lose their self-worth. That is almost akin to the sin of killing physically. (remember Taare Zameen Par). Even Lord Krishna asserts the same while telling Arjun to bad-mouth Yudhisthir (instead of killing him) during the Mahabharat war, so as to fulfill his vow of killing anyone who insults his Gandiva.

Whereas good words push a man to become good, even though he is not worth or deserving. It places a positive demand on him to become what people think of him. Good words push us to become what we are not, to become what we are capable of. This is what suggestive hypnotism is all about. It tells us the importance of speech or vaaNi. We Indians consider speech as Maa Saraswati. Speech is godly & divine because it has the power to change people. And we have this gift—each one of us. All we need is to use it more emphatically & more resonantly.

Cheers!

Reading People

आचारः कुलमाख्याति देशमाख्याति भाषणम्
सम्भ्रमः स्नेहमाख्याति वपुराख्याति भोजनम्
- चाणक्य नीति

Aachaara-ha kulam-aakhyaati desham-aakhyaati bhaaShaNam
Sambhrama-ha sneham-aakhyaati vapuraakhyaati bhojanam

Meaning: (One's) conduct (aachara) speaks about his family or ancestry (kula); speech (bhaaShaNa) reveals his land (desha); excitement communicates affection (sneha); physical form proclaims food traits.

This shloka teaches us how to read different aspects of people around us, and even our own selves. Let's start from the food part. The shape of our body is the best indicator of our food habits. The rounder we are...   :-)

Excitement, exhilaration and enthusiasm in someone's body language show that you are very affectionate to them, while a withdrawn, reserved behavior usually portrays the opposite. When we like someone, it just shows! And that, I think, is the best way to create a bonding relationship with anyone—just like them genuinely. No front-smile and back-bite ! The words we speak do not matter too much, but genuine love within, always speaks more for us.

Our speech gives away our native lands. In India, and around the world, each region has its own dialect. A person speaking Marathi or Gujarati will not only be identified to Maharashtra or Gujarat, but also to the particular town or region within those states. Same with different parts of the world! English as spoken in America is different from Britain or Australia.

And our conduct reveals a lot about our lineage, our ancestry. Perhaps the most important of all—what we do and how we do, are indicators to our lineage. Society makes judgments about our ancestors and our parents based on their observation of our behavior. Each dynasty, each clan, each kula, each family lineage stood for some values. This was in olden days, which now exists only in a fractured form. People of a certain family adhered to a certain conduct, a certain aachar. That is called as aachar-samhita. They are not rules, but if we believe ourselves to be of a certain family, of a certain Parivar, if we are of a common Father, then we would adhere to that code of conduct. This feeling places a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. If I am not of good conduct, then my Father gets vilified. Conversely, my virtuous conduct automatically brings accolades to my Father, to my family, and to my clan.

Equanimous Attitude

उदये सविता रक्तः रक्तश्चास्तमये तथा
सम्पत्तौ च विपत्तौ च महतामेकरूपता

Udaye savitaa rakta-ha raktashchaastamaye tathaa
sampattau cha vipattau cha mahataam-eka-roopataa

Meaning: Sun (savitaa) is red (rakta) as he rises (udaya), he is red even as he sets (asta). (Similarly,) the great (mahataama) will be equanimous (ekaroopa) in prosperity (sampatti) as well as in adversity (vipatti).

The sun looks exactly the same when it is rising as well as when it is setting—fiery red but calm. And that is exactly the attitude expected out of men, when their fortunes are on the rise or on the fall.

In times of prosperity, we start inflating (sometimes literally). We get swept away by jubilation, arrogance & overconfidence. We start riding the seventh heaven and our personality starts becoming loud & bashful—our voice, our gait, our clothes, things we use, places we visit, people we visit—all of these change.

Be it financial prosperity, social, political, or even intellectual prosperity, our alertness & discrimination starts getting dimmed, and we become more carefree (read careless). Mastak mein masti chaDhti hai.

Conversely, during adverse times or in downfall, we break down. Confidence moves out and doubt creeps in. We lose trust not only in our own selves but also in God. We even start taking recourse in Albele babas.

It is this very prevalent yet undesirable frame of mind that this shloka addresses. Our minds should be solid as rock, not affected by prosperity or adversity. We should know how to digest joy as well as pain equally well. I remember a poem that my favorite English teacher taught me. This is the first poem he taught me and till date, I remember it by heart.

Joy & Woe are woven fine,
   A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine,
   runs a joy with silken twine.

It is right, it should be so.
   Man was made for joy & woe.
And when this we rightly know.
   Through the world we safely go.

These are the examinations of life! How do we manage our inner selves when either of these situations strike us? Do we sway with the pendulum of joy & woe, or do we maintain equanimity (levelheadedness)? Do we puff up in prosperity, or do we cringe in calamity, or do we stay composed? Do we start flying in fortune, or do we start drowning in downfall, or do our feet stay firm on the ground? Do we remain collected like Prabhu Raam who was equally happy when he was given the kingdom one day and exile the other? That is true sthita-pragnyataa.

Another very important aspect is that while rising or setting, the Sun doesn't stop from its duties. His movement never stops; his gati is constant. Rise or fall doesn't stop or slow him down from his goal. He shows a stop sign to rise & fall while maintaining his speed unaltered. It is pretty ironical that both prosperity and adversity slow us down from our life goals, in their own unique ways. 

But let that not happen to us. Like the sun, let us show red to prosperity as well as adversity, and keep our gati constant towards our goals as true human beings.

Essence of Time

क्षणशः कणशश्चैव विद्यामर्थं च साधयेत् |
क्षणे नष्टे कुतो विद्या कणे नष्टे कुतो धनम् ||

kShaNasha-ha kaNashashchaiva vidyaam-arthaM cha saadhayet
kShaNe naShTe kuto vidyaa kaNe naShTe kuto dhanam

Meaning: Knowledge (vidyaa) and wealth (artha) are procured with every moment (kShaNa) and every grain (kaNa) (respectively). How can knowledge come (if even a) moment is wasted? How can wealth come (if even a) grain is wasted?

'Boond boond se saagar bhartaa hai', every drop counts. There is so much waste in our life that we do not even realize. I remember a time when we as students used to carry a small pocket notebook with us always. And we would note down the start time and end time of every activity that we did from the time we woke up till we lied down at night; and we also noted the idle time between each activity. The results were astonishing. There is so much time that we wasted. And that was at a time when we had no worldly responsibilities, except studies. There is so much scope for more efficiency in our lives.

Every moment is a potential investment! Every breath of life is an opportunity, a gift of God. Every breath of life means that we are not yet dead. Yes, we are not yet dead... but are we alive ?

Most of these potential opportunities go down the drain like the hundreds of drops of water drained down in our showers every morning. The most frequent complaint or remark that we hear from anyone is, इतना सारा काम है, पर टाइम ही नही मिलता (there is so much work, but I don't find time). And we are all happily watching lousy soaps on TV while hearing this comment. Students complain about lack of time to finish homework, and adults complain about lack of time to finish their paperwork & housework and what not. And in all this, almost nobody has time left for God or His work.

I know of students, who carry their homework with them, and complete it wherever and whenever they get bits & pieces of time. I know of people who are getting things done while in a car or even sitting at restaurants. Every second is important. We can make use of it, if we want to, and only if we want to.

While this shloka mentions only knowledge and money, I think, it pertains to wealth as a whole; it pertains to wealth as explained in the Shree Sukta of the Vedas. We can become richer & wiser in all aspects only if we are alert enough not to waste even a single moment. Life, with all its attractions and distractions, is always pushing us down, and if we wait to rest for even a moment, we start sliding down. We should constantly be alert, assiduous & enthusiastic as regards our progress, our development; and more importantly, we should be enjoying it. Rather than a chore, it should be a pleasure—if so, it would self-propel us further in the process, with increased acceleration.

May we realize the value of the limited time that we have at our behest, and make the fullest use thereof for our all-round development!

Introspect​ion

कः कालः कानि मित्राणि को देशः कौ व्ययाऽगमौ |
कश्चाहं का च मे शक्तिरिति चिन्त्यं मुहुर्मुहुः     ||

Ka-ha kaala-ha kaani mitraaNi ko desha-ha kau vyayaa-aagamau
kashchaaham kaa cha me shakti-riti chintyam muhur-muhu-hu

Meaning:
What are (my) circumstances (kaala),
who are (my) friends (mitra),
where am I (ko desha),
what are (my) income (aagamau) and expenses (vyayaa),
who am I,
and what are my strengths
—these should be thought over, again and again.

These are some questions which we should always be alert for. Usually what happens is that we keep storing information about different aspects of our life as & when incidents happen. And then we always evaluate ourselves according to those stored memories or information. But over time, our circumstances change, and yet we still base our decisions on our preset self-evaluated data. And that leads us to not realizing our full potential.

The classic example is that of a baby elephant who is tied to trees by rope in his childhood. It tries very hard to break free from the rope but is not strong enough at that time. After a point the baby elephant stops trying to break it. Even after growing up to be the strong animal that it becomes, a domesticated elephant never tries to break the rope. Based on its childhood memories, it presumes that it is incapable of breaking the rope while in fact, now it has the strength to tear down the whole tree. Sometimes the mahout doesn't even tie the rope to the tree, but the elephant never tries. This is exactly the point that our subhaashitkaar is trying to make here.

Our circumstances constantly change, yet we fail to take notice; even if we notice, we sometimes fail to adapt to them, or don't even try to. We may fail an exam and never take it again. We may fail in some business, never to venture in to any other business again. If there is a quarrel in a friendship, we never think of trying to forge it again. If there is a strong friendship, we might assume it to be always good while in reality, it may be fading out. Our expenses usually keep increasing slowly with incomes remaining the same, and if we do not notice it, there is trouble ahead. A famous quote: "There is only one thing in this world which is constant, and that is change."

We need to constantly keep re-evaluating our circumstances, our friends, our finances, our overall strengths—in fact, on a philosophical plane, we should constantly check our internal self, or the changes in the nature of our internal character, the changes in our attitude towards life. We should check whether we are progressing in life or not, not just financially but in all the sectors of life. We should check every day whether we became a better human being than we were yesterday.

The poet or the subhaashitkaar is not only telling us the significance of alert observation & regular introspection but also giving us a direction to that mental activity.

Yashoda Maa

यशोदया समा कापि देवतानास्ति भूतले     |
उलूखले यया बद्धो मुक्तिदो मुक्तिमिच्छति ||

Yashodayaa samaa kaapi devtaa-naasti bhootale
Ulookhale yayaa baddho muktido muktim-ichchhati

Meaning: There is no deity on this earth equal to Yashodaa. He who liberates everyone, is asking her to release Him, from the mortar that she has tied Him to! 

This shloka is as emotional as it is devotional. The Lord is one who has the power to liberate each and every being in this Universe. This powerful Lord was tied down to a mortar by Maa Yashoda. And He had to beg Yashoda maa to free Him or liberate Him from the bonds.

First of all, who in this world, has the power to tie up the Lord? Yashoda was not even his real mother ! And the Lord not only accepted her bonds, but also begged her to free Him. It shows the supreme height of devotion that Yashoda was living on. She just loved her Kanhaiya. She was madly in love with Him. And that pure, mad love was her power with which she conquered the Lord of all Lords. She forgot her own self when she was with Him, and that is why the Lord submitted Himself to her. Yashoda is a role-model for all devotees of any God. Our love should be as pure and as strong as hers, to reach Him. In fact, God must be yearning for such love which is extremely rare.

Even if we leave aside the spiritual part, and just look at the human side of it, even then, it is love that prevails. With pure love, you can conquer the heart of any living being, human or animal! Love is the real power. It doesn't matter whether we are related by blood or not; we should be related by the heart. Love, without any strings attached, is the supreme weapon in the battlefield of life, with which we can win any situation or person. The best of friends and the worst of enemies—they all can be ours if we have innate love within ourselves.

Another side to it, is the importance of a mother. Even God Himself submitted to his earthly mother. That is why our 1st Bodh-vachan is Maatru Devo bhava-ha ! The significance and value of a mother cannot even be imagined. It can only be felt and realized. The purity of a mother's love is unparalleled.
God with all His powers and strength demonstrated respect & submission to His mother, whereas we are not ready to even keep our aged parents with us these days. May we never forget the value of our mother & father till the end of life !

May all of us learn to love ourselves & others unselfishly, and move on towards loving the Supreme in the same way !

MahaaPurush

गङ्गा पापं शशी तापं दैन्यं कल्पतरुस्तथा    |
पापं तापं च दैन्यं च घ्नन्ति सन्तो महाशया: ||

Gangaa paapam shashee taapam dainyam kalpatarustathaa
Paapam taapam cha dainyam cha ghnanti santo mahaashayaa-haa

Meaning: The (river) Ganga washes away all sins; the moon (shashee) removes all the heat (with its coolness), and the Kalpataru tree removes all poverty (by granting all wishes). But the noble simultaneously eliminate (all three)—sins, heat & poverty.

This shloka tells us the importance of the noble & the saintly. While the river Ganga, the moon and the Kalpataru only remove 1 hardship each, noblemen remove all three and any other.

It tells us the importance of being associated with noblemen or mahaa-purush. We should first be able to recognize a mahaa-purush, and then get associated with him or her. This association would bring great benefits to us in terms of overall development. Poverty doesn't just connote financial poverty, but the poverty of life. Such saintly association would remove all the problems or hardships from our life, and get us moving on the path of happiness.

This being the first step, the shloka also hints at the other side of it. Not only should we associate with mahaa-purush, but we should also try to become one, or like one. We should be such that people feel peace, love, and warmth, just by being with us. They should feel like becoming virtuous due to association with us. If they feel like ceasing bad deeds or sins, then that is equivalent to cleansing of sins. They should feel the sheetaltaa or coolness of the moon upon meeting us. They should be able to confide in us, share with us and feel that we are there—for them & with them. That will remove more than half of their problems & get them working.

In the 12th chapter of Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta, the Lord tells us about the quality of ana-udvigna. At a very peripheral level, it means one who is approachable, or one whom people won't be hesitant to approach or meet. We have to be ana-udvigna. Everyone should want to meet us, and be with us. There is a difference between ana-udvigna & popular. Ana-udvigna means people should not know why, but they still want to be with you. It's due to our pure & virtuous character whereas popularity is generally due to external personality.

This is a very important requirement for anyone who wants to do constructive & cultural work at whatever level. We have to be such, that people not only look up to us, but also feel comfortable with, and also feel a bond with. For people to be able to feel comfortable with us, we have to be of such character. Someone who simply carries out instructions or enforces principles is a manager, while someone with whom people connect on their own, is the person, this shloka wants us to be. Such a person can make people live on the principles desired out of mankind rather than simply follow them. We have to be such, so as to carry out any kind of constructive work effectively. The onus is always ours.