Reading People

आचारः कुलमाख्याति देशमाख्याति भाषणम्
सम्भ्रमः स्नेहमाख्याति वपुराख्याति भोजनम्
- चाणक्य नीति

Aachaara-ha kulam-aakhyaati desham-aakhyaati bhaaShaNam
Sambhrama-ha sneham-aakhyaati vapuraakhyaati bhojanam

Meaning: (One's) conduct (aachara) speaks about his family or ancestry (kula); speech (bhaaShaNa) reveals his land (desha); excitement communicates affection (sneha); physical form proclaims food traits.

This shloka teaches us how to read different aspects of people around us, and even our own selves. Let's start from the food part. The shape of our body is the best indicator of our food habits. The rounder we are...   :-)

Excitement, exhilaration and enthusiasm in someone's body language show that you are very affectionate to them, while a withdrawn, reserved behavior usually portrays the opposite. When we like someone, it just shows! And that, I think, is the best way to create a bonding relationship with anyone—just like them genuinely. No front-smile and back-bite ! The words we speak do not matter too much, but genuine love within, always speaks more for us.

Our speech gives away our native lands. In India, and around the world, each region has its own dialect. A person speaking Marathi or Gujarati will not only be identified to Maharashtra or Gujarat, but also to the particular town or region within those states. Same with different parts of the world! English as spoken in America is different from Britain or Australia.

And our conduct reveals a lot about our lineage, our ancestry. Perhaps the most important of all—what we do and how we do, are indicators to our lineage. Society makes judgments about our ancestors and our parents based on their observation of our behavior. Each dynasty, each clan, each kula, each family lineage stood for some values. This was in olden days, which now exists only in a fractured form. People of a certain family adhered to a certain conduct, a certain aachar. That is called as aachar-samhita. They are not rules, but if we believe ourselves to be of a certain family, of a certain Parivar, if we are of a common Father, then we would adhere to that code of conduct. This feeling places a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. If I am not of good conduct, then my Father gets vilified. Conversely, my virtuous conduct automatically brings accolades to my Father, to my family, and to my clan.

Equanimous Attitude

उदये सविता रक्तः रक्तश्चास्तमये तथा
सम्पत्तौ च विपत्तौ च महतामेकरूपता

Udaye savitaa rakta-ha raktashchaastamaye tathaa
sampattau cha vipattau cha mahataam-eka-roopataa

Meaning: Sun (savitaa) is red (rakta) as he rises (udaya), he is red even as he sets (asta). (Similarly,) the great (mahataama) will be equanimous (ekaroopa) in prosperity (sampatti) as well as in adversity (vipatti).

The sun looks exactly the same when it is rising as well as when it is setting—fiery red but calm. And that is exactly the attitude expected out of men, when their fortunes are on the rise or on the fall.

In times of prosperity, we start inflating (sometimes literally). We get swept away by jubilation, arrogance & overconfidence. We start riding the seventh heaven and our personality starts becoming loud & bashful—our voice, our gait, our clothes, things we use, places we visit, people we visit—all of these change.

Be it financial prosperity, social, political, or even intellectual prosperity, our alertness & discrimination starts getting dimmed, and we become more carefree (read careless). Mastak mein masti chaDhti hai.

Conversely, during adverse times or in downfall, we break down. Confidence moves out and doubt creeps in. We lose trust not only in our own selves but also in God. We even start taking recourse in Albele babas.

It is this very prevalent yet undesirable frame of mind that this shloka addresses. Our minds should be solid as rock, not affected by prosperity or adversity. We should know how to digest joy as well as pain equally well. I remember a poem that my favorite English teacher taught me. This is the first poem he taught me and till date, I remember it by heart.

Joy & Woe are woven fine,
   A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine,
   runs a joy with silken twine.

It is right, it should be so.
   Man was made for joy & woe.
And when this we rightly know.
   Through the world we safely go.

These are the examinations of life! How do we manage our inner selves when either of these situations strike us? Do we sway with the pendulum of joy & woe, or do we maintain equanimity (levelheadedness)? Do we puff up in prosperity, or do we cringe in calamity, or do we stay composed? Do we start flying in fortune, or do we start drowning in downfall, or do our feet stay firm on the ground? Do we remain collected like Prabhu Raam who was equally happy when he was given the kingdom one day and exile the other? That is true sthita-pragnyataa.

Another very important aspect is that while rising or setting, the Sun doesn't stop from its duties. His movement never stops; his gati is constant. Rise or fall doesn't stop or slow him down from his goal. He shows a stop sign to rise & fall while maintaining his speed unaltered. It is pretty ironical that both prosperity and adversity slow us down from our life goals, in their own unique ways. 

But let that not happen to us. Like the sun, let us show red to prosperity as well as adversity, and keep our gati constant towards our goals as true human beings.

MahaaPurush

गङ्गा पापं शशी तापं दैन्यं कल्पतरुस्तथा    |
पापं तापं च दैन्यं च घ्नन्ति सन्तो महाशया: ||

Gangaa paapam shashee taapam dainyam kalpatarustathaa
Paapam taapam cha dainyam cha ghnanti santo mahaashayaa-haa

Meaning: The (river) Ganga washes away all sins; the moon (shashee) removes all the heat (with its coolness), and the Kalpataru tree removes all poverty (by granting all wishes). But the noble simultaneously eliminate (all three)—sins, heat & poverty.

This shloka tells us the importance of the noble & the saintly. While the river Ganga, the moon and the Kalpataru only remove 1 hardship each, noblemen remove all three and any other.

It tells us the importance of being associated with noblemen or mahaa-purush. We should first be able to recognize a mahaa-purush, and then get associated with him or her. This association would bring great benefits to us in terms of overall development. Poverty doesn't just connote financial poverty, but the poverty of life. Such saintly association would remove all the problems or hardships from our life, and get us moving on the path of happiness.

This being the first step, the shloka also hints at the other side of it. Not only should we associate with mahaa-purush, but we should also try to become one, or like one. We should be such that people feel peace, love, and warmth, just by being with us. They should feel like becoming virtuous due to association with us. If they feel like ceasing bad deeds or sins, then that is equivalent to cleansing of sins. They should feel the sheetaltaa or coolness of the moon upon meeting us. They should be able to confide in us, share with us and feel that we are there—for them & with them. That will remove more than half of their problems & get them working.

In the 12th chapter of Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta, the Lord tells us about the quality of ana-udvigna. At a very peripheral level, it means one who is approachable, or one whom people won't be hesitant to approach or meet. We have to be ana-udvigna. Everyone should want to meet us, and be with us. There is a difference between ana-udvigna & popular. Ana-udvigna means people should not know why, but they still want to be with you. It's due to our pure & virtuous character whereas popularity is generally due to external personality.

This is a very important requirement for anyone who wants to do constructive & cultural work at whatever level. We have to be such, that people not only look up to us, but also feel comfortable with, and also feel a bond with. For people to be able to feel comfortable with us, we have to be of such character. Someone who simply carries out instructions or enforces principles is a manager, while someone with whom people connect on their own, is the person, this shloka wants us to be. Such a person can make people live on the principles desired out of mankind rather than simply follow them. We have to be such, so as to carry out any kind of constructive work effectively. The onus is always ours.

VrukSha (tree)

छायाम् अन्यस्य कुर्वन्ति तिष्ठन्ति स्वयम् आतपे |
फलन्त्यपि परार्थाय वृक्षा: सत्पुरुषा इव ||
 
Chhaayaam anyasya kurvanti tiShThanti svayam aatape
phalantyapi paraarthaaya vrukshaa-haa sat-puruShaa iva

Meaning: (They) give shade (chhaayaa) to others (anya), while standing (tiShThanti) in the heat (sun) themselves. They bear fruits (phala) for the benefit of others (paraarthaaya),—trees are like (iva) the virtuous (sat-puruSha).

There are very, very few in this world who work like this. They work hard, day and night, every second of their life, just for the benefit of others. They take all the brunt on to their bodies, their minds, their hearts, but make sure that others around them are happy. Unmindful of any pains or troubles they have to bear, they work hard to make sure that we grow & we develop.

They provide shade & fruits even to those who throw stones at them. This is their greatness.

And all this time when they are taking all the heat and providing us shade, they are almost invisible. They make themselves unnoticeable. Even if noticed, they do not let themselves be acknowledged or thanked... passing on all the gratitude, fame and  attention to their higher authority.

Trees take nothing from men... only a little water from the ground and sunlight from the sun. Similarly, the virtuous (sat-purusha) take nothing from society, but derive their strength from the higher powers. And they grow strong, very strong... strong enough to bear the weight of fruits to provide for the people around them. They live only to give, and they strengthen themselves only to provide for others. Their only object in life is the growth and nourishment of others—others whom they know or do not know, others who behave well or otherwise, others who worship them or throw stones. They personify pure, unexpectational & unconditional love towards every creation of God. That is true virtue.

Some of us may have been fortunate to have heard about or seen such a vruksha in their lifetime, some even more fortunate may have met such a vruKsha, and some of us might have the good fortune of having such vrukShas around us even now. 

Let their untiring efforts, their unshakable strength and their loving shade, be an inspiration to us to become such a sat-purusha ourselves.